These are my confessions....

...just when I thought I said all I can say, my chick on the side says she's got one on the way...OK, so maybe that was Usher. My chick on the side doesn't exist so I guess she can't have one on the way :) Anyway, this is my first real blog experience and if you didn't pick up on it yet, I am little preoccupied with music...and slightly sarcastic! Really I am just trying to fill this box since I have no idea what I am doing. Guess I will figure it out right? I had a really good thought when I started typing but then I distracted myself with Usher and now I am simply rambling. Hummm, confessions...I got nothing!

Well how about an introduction instead? I am almost 33 (and NOT happy about being in my "mid" 30's), I am a lesbian, single, too responsible most of the time, a neat FREAK and generally happy with my little crazy life :) I have a great job, fabulous friends, and the bestest little dog in the entire world! What's their to confess? IDK, nothing, everything...

Most of the time I am one of those people that live inside of their head. Not to say that I am anti-social because I am not, I get along very well with others, but I am almost always keeping a part of myself silent. I don't know why I do this because I have plenty of wonderful people that I would trust completely with my thoughts but still I find myself staying silent. I was NOT raised in a touchy-feely household by any means. We didn't express our feelings often and we were basically just blunt with each other 100% of the time. This was great in some regards because I am comfortable speaking my mind and being true to myself but in other ways it really sucks. I don't seem to have that trigger that most people have that stops them from saying something they shouldn't. Instead, my words come blurting out and I am stuck chewing my stinkin' shoes the remainder of the day. It's kind of a weird dynamic because when it's about bullshit, I will say anything that comes into my head, but when it really matters, when I am really bothered by something, I keep it inside. How did I learn this behavior and how to I break free from it?

Who knows, maybe writing blogs and sending them to la la land will help... :)